Sorry to bore y'all with relationship troubles, but I really have nowhere to talk about this so here it goes in el journal.
Okay, so I am PMSing and generally bitchy, but god damnit, don't whine to me. About bullshit. Please. At least not bullshit we both know we have no control over.
*---------* If you ever cared about the introverted, sarcastic thought patterns of The Missy, they are here in writing. One-time offer probably, so learn quickly! *---------*
Thoughts of mine throughout the duration of our auditory rendezvous will be italicized. Ephases will be noted in bold.
Seth calls my work at some time not unnear (oooh! double negative! bad grammar can be FUN!) 5:40 PM.
M (in a 'why-are-you-calling-my-work' voice): ...hey.
S: Sorry to bug you at work.. (..no, if you were sorry and didn't want to bug me, you wouldn't have called. Simple.) .. but I just wanted to let you know I got out of work early.
M (somewhat busy and annoyed): ... okay?
S (obviously feeling the need the elaborate): ... and I was wondering if you wanted to do something?
M (noticeable pause, due to the fact that a) it really isn't a good day to kick it, especially on short notice (Fucker, you know I hate that.) and b) rather than be a complete bitch, I try and think of something polite to say): Well... I really don't know when I'll be home but I'll give you a call when I get there? I wouldn't recommend walking down here, seeing as I'll probably be gone (true) and don't know where I'll be or when Ill be home (also true).
S (obviously deflated, in a slightly pouty voice. that pisses me off): ...okay. well Ill talk to you then I guess.
Yes, perhaps you will. If you ditch the pouting and whining. Because I'm really not in the fucking mood.
cut to: 8:50 PM. Got home, ate dinner, and mom was on the phone. So I went online. And ooooh! Lucky me! Look what I get through myspace!
Date: Sep 2, 2005 8:39 PM Flag spam/abuse. [ ? ]
Body: hey whenever u get this message, i need to talk to u whether its through myspace, aim or over the phone, its important
And let me state that "it's important", whenever he types, means something's wrong that he's going to complain to me about.
..... okay. So my mom gets off the phone and I call him. Jesus forbid, a whopping ten minutes after he sent that message! Juuuuust long enough for him to start to cry. Over nothing, mind you. Nothing. A random conversation that I didn't expect (nor wanted to hear) ensued.
M (after greetings): SO what do you need to talk about?
S: Well it's just... you said you'd call me and you *sniff* didn't *sniff.
Oh. My. God. Okay, I give you points on pulling this for the first time after we've been together a few months rather than sooner, but dammit, why now?
M (matter-of-factly): I came home, ate dinner, and then waited for my mom to get off the phone so I could call you. And then I did. Right, mom?
(mom audibly vouches for me. which she better have; I wasn't lying.)
S: Well it's just... I dunno... *sniff* I only get to see you one day a week and... yeah. *sniff*
M : Yeah, I agree it sucks. It sucks, but it prevents me from getting annoyed of you. (to the point): What do you want me to do about it?
S: Well, I dunno... it's just, I work late on weekdays (I wish I had the pay of your job) and you're always working on weekends... we don't get to see each other...
Oh. This is partially because I told you I was going to hang out with Alexis on part of Labor Day isn't it? Hrmmmmm
M: I guess I could try and take a weekend day off but I can't make any promises, y'know... but it's nice to work because I need the money.
S: Well I don't want you to just, take a day off when you need the money...
Well that's a plus. Because I wouldn't have. Can we spell.... p-r-i-o-r-i-t-i-e-s?
S: When's your next day/s off?
M: After Labor Day it's Thursday. Do you think you could maybe get out early?
S (getting sniffly again): *sniff* doubt it...
---jump in conversation to other bullshit---
S: I just don't want to go through this again.
What the fuck are you talking about? I thought we were doing good?
M: Define "this."
S: I mean... blah whine I dont have a car whine whine sniff neither do you tear sob and every relationship I've had ended because of that blah whine...
Okay Seth, I know you don't "date" much, but out of your... three past relationships, two of which were with me (I think. Kinda irrelevant anyway), only one ended because of that. And that was with me. And the second time I used that as a fucking excuse because I didn't want to be a bitch and say "well the reason I want to break up with you is because you cry and whine too much." Not unlike what you're doing now. So I suggest you stop. Immediately. And you depend on me for... everything! Well, emotionally.
--jump to later, after we discuss things, but get nowhere because... well, there's really nothing we can fucking do about transportation right now. Except deal with it. Which is what at least one of us has been doing.--
S: I'm sorry if I put you in a crappy mood... *sniff*
M: It's okay. Okay, that was more bitchy than intended, but true nonetheless
S: I just want us to be okay...
I thought we WERE okay until this fucking phone call. Dammit.
M: Me too. (Which I do, really. But I HATE this shit).
M: I'll give you a call tomorrow... (remembering what spurred this conversation, and laughing a tad because of it) heh, or YOU give ME a call. And we'll work something out. Please let me off the phone. We've been talking for 21 minutes now. Which was 20 minutes too long because of the content.
So I guess we're good. Except he went on about how much he cares, and how all he could think about was me since we last broke up (over a year ago) and started talking more (January this year). Which I hate... and turns me off. But if I bring it up, he'll start to cry. So I'm fucked.
Hmmm, I dunno what to do right now. I feel like going for a skate or something.